Hello, Hi, night post here

- allow me to set the tone and introduce you to this month’s poetry:

Christ, the Chrysalis & The Crown: Unearthing My New Spirit

"The air thrums with an unspoken promise, a whisper of what's been, and a roar of what's to come. They say change is a slow tide, but sometimes, it's a wildfire that consumes the old to make way for the new. Yet here I am, an air sign choosing the fire.
This October, I began my first ever spirit rebirth, completely alive, conscious, and ready to walk through the flames into my next incarnation.
My only companion? The unwavering conviction that this time, I'm planting seeds that will bloom into an unshakeable purpose."

Finding Your North Star:

Why Purpose is my Anchor in a Chaotic World?

First off???? We live in a world that pulls us in a million directions, especially in our twenties.

The pressure to build a "good foundation," land that dream job, find our tribe, and somehow "have it all figured out" by yesterday is immense and overall exhausting as fuck. We’re often so busy chasing external markers of success that we forget the most crucial foundation of all: our inner selves, and as you know..

Time is of the Essence bitch.

It's easy to push introspection to the back burner, to numb the nagging doubts, or to simply ride the wave of whatever comes next. But here’s the truth: how we navigate the turmoils of our inner self directly ties to our confidence, how we treat others, and most importantly, the impact we have on the world.

We, as young adults and as a generation, often ignore this critical work, desperate to stand on our own two feet. But what if those feet are standing on shaky ground?

This month, I dug deep to reinforce my own foundation, starting with a powerful, metaphorical ceremony.

Here’s my Recipe for an Earthbound Spirit Rebirth & Metaphoric Funeral

DISCLAIMER

This isn't about dying physically; it's about "dying to the flesh"—

which means shedding old habits, mindsets, and energies that no longer serve thy highest self.

and I want to also credit my friend Heaven for introducing me to the term and the idea of what this rebirth cycle/process is. I’ve smashed plates before, and of course I journal and pray, but I’ve never made it such a “thing”.. but bitch this is the year where we’re taking self care beyond the surface.

Here’s how to officiate your own liberation if you’re into that kinda shit too:

Step 1: Ignite the fire & the Burning Desire to:

Fix Your Shit

First, you have to feel it in your bones, that undeniable urge to change. For me, it was a slow burn, then a sudden conflagration of "enough is enough." The initial step is always identifying the issue. This can be painful, swift, or a gradual dawning, uncovering external factors, internal struggles, or simply realizing you are the bottleneck.

As someone in my twenties, trying to navigate establishing an ideal and sustainable life, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. We're bombarded with expectations, financial pressures, and the dizzying array of choices that could define our future. Ignoring any "piece of the pie"—be it unresolved trauma, self-sabotaging patterns, or external toxic influences—is only setting yourself up for a poorly baked future. Don't build a life on an incomplete blueprint; address every crack, every weakness, because you’re the one who has to live in that house.

Step 2: Pray, Journal, & Affirm <3

Regardless of your beliefs or religious affiliation, the power of focused intention is undeniable. You need a prophetic goal or an achievable intention to guide your rebirth. This action is an act of wiggling a new routine into your life. Transparently, I'm at an age and level of spiritual maturity where I know there are habits I cannot carry into my peak season of life success. It’s crucial to set goals and intentions that are specific enough to be motivating, but not so vast they induce discouragement. Attentively connect these desires and affirmations to people and things that serve your peace and actively push you toward the person you feel you should be.

Step 3: Source your Item of Destruction

You’ll want something tangible to represent what you’re releasing. Go out and find your personal item—something you can truly set free. Unleash the drama! Write it, type it, or even paint it? Purge your heart into it with every detail and specific burden. Because immediately after? You’re going to demolish it. Burn it, shred it, or sail that shit off to sea if you have to.

(Just please, for the love of all things green and blue, be mindful of wildlife and littering laws, especially in our oceans!) <3

Whatever method you choose, consider yourself officially breaking up with anything that no longer serves you and your newfound purpose. I chose to do it with a plate cleansing ceremony!

Step 4: Build Yourself a Bouquet! 💐

Call up your nearest florist, source a local flower shop, or even stop at the grocery store and curate your own personal floral arrangement. As a child, I wasn't a huge fan of flowers, but for a figurative "spiritual funeral," they are definitely an appropriate gesture.

3 Simple Steps

**to build your own bouquet:**

`choose a focal flower, add filler flowers, then greenery for texture and balance.`

And if you’re dramatic like me, get yourself a black veil – I went to Michaels for a yard of sheer black mesh and draped it over my head. You might even use this bouquet as your item of destruction, playing the classic "He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not" theory.

Girl, literally anything to sell yourself the dream and romanticize the moment! Like in my 30s it’ll be an entire trip.

Step 5: Choose a Safe Demolition Zone & Officiate Your Ceremony

Choose a place that speaks to the energy, era, or reborn spirit you desire to embody. Consider bringing something to express your frustration—ideally not extreme weaponry, but whatever will get the job done and kill the negativity juju placed onto the item by you and your troubles. Before disposal, recite your prayer, intention, or affirmation, framing it as the evolutionary solution or game plan to whatever you're setting yourself free of. Then, of course, comes the fun part: the figurative emancipation itself. Bask in it! But then, ensure you have the resources to properly dispose of any debris, extinguish any fires, and again, consider existing wildlife and littering laws. Personalize the moment: dress the part, play music, or bring witnesses for support and spoken words.

I feel like a spirit rebirth comes at a crucial time.

I'm behind on life, on posting, on consistency – slightly for good reason, but also to my utter disdain.

There's no excuse, and the entire point of this ceremony is to "die to my flesh," and fill my time, life, and mind with productivity and purpose. I have a new resource dropping in the new year, and I absolutely fucking refuse to let the spirit of procrastination and idle thoughts derail that timeline.

Another layer to this blossoming grace, but also harsh accountability, is my desire to truly establish myself as a blogger. Not just here on @TheDiaryPost, but especially #MakeupfortheModernDayDoll. Because, if you're keeping up, November marks the release of Volume II!

Bitch that’s in t-3 days.

I have the e-book pretty much carved out; I typed the contents of it maybe a month and a half ago..

but wtf is that when it could be done?

If I'm being real, I have this disgusting way of abandoning my responsibilities and commitments after a while, especially when I'm overwhelmed or overstimulated for extended periods of time. Forgetting due dates quickly turns into forgetting when bills are due, or even having the common sense to budget for them at all? and life is too expensive to continue to be an idiot. Now I have to get innovative and pivot, all because my punk ass spent a month living life and letting life live.

The harshest thing about being an entrepreneur,

at least for me-

is that when I'm not okay, my business truly suffers. Since I've declared, prayed, and journaled that suffering isn't on my plate anymore, I have to find a way to not only be in a healthy headspace but also find the balance and space to create, share, and collaborate with the world.

The reality is, I'm doing... not my best, but better.

I'm learning to stop making excuses, but also to give myself the grace that God has always granted me. It’s all a work in progress, and I keep telling myself not to fret because I 100% intend to operate this brand for the rest of my life—so I have time to get things correct?

But it’s also the factor that there's no reason to be setting myself behind. I have the plan, I am building the platform, and God has given me more than enough validation to know I have the right ideas. So realistically, I am the only thing standing in my way. If I felt like displacing blame, I could totally blame it on the demons that plague my karmic and physical consciousness, but at the end of the day… whatever spirit you feed the most will be the one that grows the largest. So again, prophetically and ultimately professionally, I NEED to get my shit together.

I am also able to give myself a little more leeway amid my bullshit because I got the dream job of my twenties back!

As of October 2023, I am re-employed with THE M.A.C Cosmetics. I am both excited, and if I can be honest (which I'm absolutely going to do because this is my diary), reluctantly weary. However, not in any ways that have thus hindered me from doing my job, doing it well, and bonding with my new team! I’ve really been taking this time to acclimate myself to the new floor plan, new drops, and multitudes of codes and passwords —

and I’ve pretty much been turning my brain off 100% any time beyond that.

It’s a much calmer vibe than what I was exuding before, but remember, in September, I was planting those seeds! This month, we’re stabilizing, developing those roots. I do intend to grow and vegetate next month, and I am cleaning up maturation by December. My guy and I went apartment hunting this month, so I can anticipate some fresh scenery soon. I am learning to see things through the lens of admiration for the journey, so I can appreciate the destination even more.

One last thing I will divulge, as I've been trying to make a habit of doing in each of these posts: my social life!

my aunt & uncle spontaneously visiting the crew. <33333

This month, I had a few firstssss. I’ve had family come visit me for the first time, tried Moonshine tasting. I had no idea those jars came in SO many different flavors????

I’ve also been to The Greenhouse Bar a handful of times, and I pretty much feel like I’ve been falling asleep inebriated at least 17 out of 31 days of the month. But I’ve also experienced my first-ever TSU Homecoming weekend experience with Devannn <3 our fav alum,

Tennessee State University Pep Rally Day

and my first episode of The Real Housewives of Nashville—aka my boyfriend’s co-worker’s $50k Halloween Party in Gallatin, went Paintball shooting for the first time ever in my life.

Had a college acquaintance visit me since my bffs came down for my 23rd Birthday

- Bitch, It’s been a gnarly month, and I am probably forgetting something imperative—

but what matters is that I had a shit ton of fun this month, and I am two days late on this post, so I am extremely proud I got an October entry out. <3

Colombia, TN was apparently a sundown town. Went to one of those this month too. 😂 to shoot fucking zombies, believe it or not.

I’ve been social experimenting a little more in the Nashville scene.

It’s a funny thing because honestly, think Tennessee is a little weird and a little scary? Obviously I am a negro woman from the North LMAO.

But honestly it has been an experience worth experiencing now that I am not carrying 80lbs of negativity in my 100lb body. Great friends, food, and little bit of money can honestly get you super far here. Professionally and socially speaking.

I haven’t gotten any Spooky Candles or any fun decor, but I am learning to love the journey and the little things that make it worth telling our kids about one day.

Also - Should’ve said this sooner but, earlier this month I attended my first Craft Fair, anddddd it was so fucking cool I wanted to just include it because I do reread these and I’d like to never ever forget that we did this. This particular day was a great day for me and my man, we pretty much bonded the entire day until his company ruined it (jk but obv not because I am a homebody that doesn’t prefer company) - but we also stopped at my favorite vintage camera store to get my Sony DSC-S90 fixed, since I got the SD card jammed into its butt.. and then I bought Coop and his Business their first vintage Polaroid Camera, so expect photos.

Back to the Fair though, there were some coooooool ass exhibits and displays of art. I was super fucking inspired, especially by the jewelry stands and tables. wink winkkkkk !!!!

Which in itself is hella inspired our presence in the first place, because we found out about the event through a client he was trying to make an offer to? the Wife of some random guy apparently reminded my boyfriend a lot of me, because she was eclectic and cool of course. She actually makes her own line and it’s a catalog of raw materials she curated to embellish into fine jewelry - and so we walked the entire thing to find her table.. and didn’t?

but we met and were inspired by a lot of others, so thank God for Coop making the best connections this month.

Working on reeling it in bitches. Pls be safe, and on the lookout for me to stop being weird and post on my socials.

XOXO,

LO. 💋

“my Doll died in October” by omission